Alcohol, My Toxic Blackout Drinking, EX Best Friend

By Michaela Weaver

Blackout Drinking

Alcohol, had me conned for many years, into thinking it was an important part of my life, and that I didn’t have a drinking problem. I just liked a drink, and what was the harm in that?

The harm was that I came to rely on alcohol as a crutch and lost the ability to say no when someone offered me something.

I also lost control over my drinking, which led to alcohol-related blackouts. I would drink so much that I’d forget what happened the night before. I’d wake up not knowing how I got home or what I’d done. This was terrifying and caused a lot of anxiety.

But the worst part was that alcohol was the reason my relationship with my ex fell apart. We’d get into huge arguments because of my drinking, and it would always be his fault. I was always the victim.

The alcohol induced blackout from binge drinking and memory loss were all part and parcel of my toxic relationship with alcohol. I was so ashamed of my drinking that I hid it from everyone, even my family and closest friends.

What happens during a blackout?

When blackouts occur, the hippocampus is incapable of producing long term memory. Hence, it’s easy to forget big chunks of information.

When a person drinks they can experience alcohol induced blackouts differently. Sometimes people can’t sit down and speak properly. Others might appear totally ok.

Despite these appearances, people experiencing an alcohol blackout aren’t able to remember their actions.

Many people can also continue eating, talking and walking as well as all sorts of other activities. This occurs because despite high blood alcohol levels many areas within the human brain remain alcohol-tolerant.

Alcohol, my toxic, blackout drinking, memory loss causing EX best friend

Eventually, I realized that alcohol was not good for me. It was causing me a lot of pain and I needed to stop. So I did.

But alcohol consumption played an important part in my life.

Alcohol was my best friend, always there for the good times the bad times and when things got ugly. For any celebration or commiseration, we celebrated or commiserated with a glass of champagne or wine, maybe a beer or a few of something else.

Issues Caused By Alcohol

Right now, you probably believe that alcohol is an important part of your life too. Turning to the bottle for any occasion.

But you’ll also know that supping those glasses of wine or beer each night, or partying hard at the weekend, is causing a problem.

Excessive alcohol consumption may be affecting your health, your work, your relationship, or maybe all three. 

After too much alcohol you may be realising that the hangovers are feeling worse, or that you feel tired all day until a drink in the evening miraculously wakes you up. 

Waking up full of remorse and anxiety, with a thumping head, and a questionable or even non-existent recollection of last night’s events is far from fun, relaxing or stress-free.

In fact, it’s diametrically opposite. And vowing to avoid consuming alcohol again only to pour a glass of red wine at dinner isn’t good for long term self-esteem, either, as you find yourself in a constant cycle of internal mental battles, over which reaching for a glass always wins. 

The result is that the real you, the conscious-minded part of you that doesn’t want to drink, fails. Always.

And I know because I always failed too. If I’d had a particularly boozy Saturday night with friends and felt hellish the next day, I’d be proud of myself that I didn’t have a glass of wine that evening.

The negative consequences that I was still feeling queasy from the night before didn’t enter my head as being the reason for my evening of abstinence.

The Dangers of Alcohol Abuse

There are serious risks attached to alcohol misuse. Alcohol research has identified the following:

  • alcohol blackouts
  • increased risk of health problems such as liver disease, liver cancer, pancreatitis and other cancers
  • social problems such as unemployment, homelessness and relationship breakdowns
  • mental health problems like anxiety and depression
  • financial problems from spending too much on alcohol
  • alcohol induced amnesia and short term memory loss, long term memories can be affected too
  • and of course risky behaviors where inhibitions are left behind

It is important to be aware of the risks associated with alcohol abuse and to take steps to reduce your intake if you feel that your drinking is becoming a problem or leading to what is termed alcohol use disorder.

Binge Drinking

What is it?

Binge drinking is drinking more than four units of alcohol in a single session for men, or three units for women. A unit of alcohol is defined as 10 milliliters of pure alcohol.

What are the effects?

The short-term effects of binge drinking include:

  • nausea and vomiting
  • loss of co-ordination
  • slurred speech
  • memory blackouts
  • fits or seizures

Alcohol Consumption & Coping With Dry January

When I decided to stop drinking alcohol for a while, like on a hungover 1st of January having decided to do a dry month, I’d start off feeling amazingly positive and determined.

All my resolve and positive vision of self, drinking green tea every evening, was primed and ready for action.

I would spring open the fridge and give the bottle of wine a ‘Ya boo,’ scoff before putting it firmly in the back of the cupboard, with a ‘See you in February,’ smile.

I’d go to the pub and loudly order a diet coke, telling the bartender that I was doing Dry January.

I might as well have stood on the bar, grabbed a microphone, and shouted to the room, ‘Look at me with my diet coke everyone! Look at me controlling alcohol. No more alcohol for me. I’m not drinking Chardonnay or Merlot here today my friends, so…

I DON’T HAVE AN ALCOHOL PROBLEM”… Thou doth protest too much.

By around the 20th of January, I was usually bored with Dry January and poured myself a large, chilled glass of white wine to celebrate my abstinence. And while it wasn’t binge drinking or even heavy drinking it was the start of the slippery slope.

A week later and I had my nose back in the fridge at wine o’clock, waking up on Saturday morning with a remorseful hangover.

For someone who is fundamentally a smart person, none of that made me feel very smart. And that’s the problem, drink makes a fool of everyone, even the most successful and well educated of us. 

Alcohol Con Trick

What you’re about to find out is that the whole package that is wrapped up in the glass in your hand is the result of a very clever and long-drawn-out confidence trick.

It’s a confidence trick that has drawn you in like it did me, and millions of others, and one that you have completely trusted. 

All con tricks work because the con artist gains your trust, implicitly. You believe in them, who they say they are, and the benefits that you believe they can bring you. 

The psychological brainwashing of addiction happens in the subconscious mind, and this is the part of your mind that says, ‘Oh go on then,’ when your conscious mind is sitting there with its arms crossed and a large banner with the words, ‘I’m not going to drink today’ emblazoned in bold lettering.

This explains why we feel stupid when we’ve gone to such lengths, just to cave in five minutes later. Our conscious mind has been overruled by our subconscious, which is always in favour of drinking more alcohol. Alcohol dependence is always a danger in these situations.

The only way to win against the con trick is to be aware of it and have a strategy to deal with it. You will need to be determined and resolute in your approach, and know that you will face some challenges along the way.

Young adults and college students, probably more than any other groups, need to be made aware of the dangers of binge drinking and the potential for developing an alcohol use disorder. It is important to be able to identify the signs and symptoms of alcohol use disorder in order to seek necessary treatment.

If You Knew for a Fact That You Had Been a Victim of a Con Trick That Had Trapped You, Would You Want to Get Out?

Are all alcoholic drinks dangerous for us?

There are, of course, different types of alcoholic drinks and some are more harmful than others.

For example, spirits such as vodka, gin and whiskey are more harmful than beers or wines.

This is because they contain a higher level of alcohol and can be more quickly absorbed into the bloodstream. However, all alcoholic drinks can be harmful if they are consumed in large amounts.

Alarmingly, alcohol is the basis of a confidence trick of pandemic proportions, with millions of people across the world being caught out and being caught in the trap.

Alcohol is embedded in every crevice of our society and for many, it’s a trusted friend. It has won the confidence of people like you and me who genuinely believe (as I used to) that it adds value to their lives, and that life without it would be deficient.

Alcohol abuse is also the cause of inordinate suffering and misery for millions of people who find they can’t live with it and can’t live without it.

If you knew for a fact that you had been a victim of a con trick that had trapped you, would you want to get out?

The answer is, of course, an unequivocal ‘Yes’. But getting out is not as easy as it sounds.

The only way to win against the con trick is to be aware of it and have a strategy to deal with it. You will need to be determined and resolute in your approach, and know that you will face some challenges along the way.

If you are able to resist the temptation to drink, then you can eventually break free from the con trick. However, it takes hard work and determination, and there is no guarantee that you will be successful. But it is worth trying, because the alternative is a life of misery and addiction.

So What Can We Do to Escape the Alcohol Con?

For me, my turning point was the discovery of The Social Secret and the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Before this discovery, to the outside world, I was living the dream as a very successful high flying career woman who had everything.

I had a loving family, a successful high-performance career and salary to match, wealth, nice holidays, luxury lifestyles etc…but I hid my alcohol addiction well from the outside world and knew how to continue functioning in society.

However, something had to change, as my close inner circle of family and close friends had noticed how excessive drinking was affecting my relationships with those I loved the most. I was also acutely aware that I had a problem and that my drinking was spiralling out of control.

When I discovered The Social Secret, it completely rocked my world, as it revealed the very real dangers of drinking alcohol in social situations. It was like a lightbulb moment and I realised that I had been a victim of the alcohol con trick for many years.

Beating Alcohol Addiction

I turned to my strengths to break myself free from my addiction to alcohol. I used my expertise as a graduate scientist and a post-graduate executive coach. My studies and personal experiences gave birth to my method and discovery of The Social Secret.

I have now been sober for over half a decade, and I want to help as many women as possible with their own journey to sobriety.

The Social Secret – a life transformation and a new life without alcohol

Since the creation of the Social Secret, in the last few years, I am proud to say I have helped over 15,000 women worldwide change their perception of alcohol through my teaching.

And well over 600 women, have now had their lives transformed by breaking free from alcohol addiction.

My unique, one-of-a-kind training is geared towards high-achieving elite women over 45 years old.

My clients include C-suite executives, celebrities, and other top-flight iconic women.

I offer three different programs: the Discovery Program, the Freedom Coaching Program, and Exclusive Private Coaching.

The Discover Program

follows a 6-week self-study coaching leading to the client’s entry into The Social Secret, one layer at a time.

It features a series of workshops, guided imagery relaxation recordings, and the beginning of a Social Secret Journal. It also welcomes participants into The Social Secret community and access to the Discover Sober Community.

Here, clients receive support from other individuals who are undergoing the same struggles and those who have already succeeded through the help of the program.

The Freedom Coaching Program

on the other hand, is a specialized program for action-centred, goal-oriented women who struggle daily with alcoholism despite having established successful lives.

It brings together science, executive and life coaching, therapy disciplines, and storytelling visioning. The program lasts for four months and only offers limited slots.

This program is for women who want to end their addiction and regain their lost lives.

Private Coaching

I also accept Exclusive Private Coaching for a handful of clients at a time.

These are offered to those who prefer individualized support as opposed to group approaches. The Exclusive Private Coaching is non-standardized and is custom designed for each client with a package option of 3 or 12 months.

Free Masterclass

So, if you are ready to make alcohol your ex-best friend and want to start your journey to sobriety then sign up for the Master Class today – click on this link masterclass. It’s a free 60-minute class that will help you kick-start your path to a new alcohol-free life.

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Hi, I'm Michela

I’m a leader in the science of transformational freedom for women, and someone previously addicted to alcohol. I have walked the path. I understand your concerns and fears. Here you will find some of my thoughts and insights. Happy browsing!

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Michaela Weaver

Michaela is the world's leading authority for enabling highly successful women to embrace their true, alcohol-free, authentic selves in a world where alcohol is normalised for those who are successful. Her ground-breaking science-based methods using The Science of Transformational Freedom, result in the revelation of uncovering The Social Secret®, so that high achieving woman can joyfully live their lives free from alcohol – but also thrive in all aspects of their work and personal life without it.