Denial was a place I was at for a long time around alcohol. And we hear people say oh they are in denial around alcohol so what exactly does that really mean?
Because there is an extra element to it that might not be immediately obvious. When we are unaware of a problem we are not in denial, we are just actually unaware of it and for a long time, many, many drinkers are at that place of ignorance, where they are just unaware that it’s a problem and when I say ignorance,
I’m not saying that the person is ignorant. I’m saying that they are ignoring the fact that there maybe a problem. They are just not looking at it they are not shining a light on it in a way that opens it up to a level of awareness that there is actually a problem.
One of the reasons for that level of ignorance around alcohol is because it’s such an expected thing to do. In our society we are expected to drink and in fact it’s the person who doesn’t drink that gets the light shone on them that there is something wrong with them.
What is the matter with you for not wanting to consume this highly toxic, cancer causing, highly addictive psychoactive drug? There must be something wrong with you… Really!?
Ironically, the same thing was true of cigarette smoking, back fifty years ago, something like 80% of the population used to smoke and there was something wrong with you if you didn’t smoke. It was like a social pariah ‘What’s the matter with you, why aren’t you doing this. It must be really boring.’ And now people who smoke cigarettes, I don’t think it’s seen as a social, cool or good thing to do.
And so, the reason for that shift is that societies perceptions have changed around cigarette smoking but not around alcohol. So we can be ignorant to the fact that society said its ok. We are doing it every night of the week. We are drinking half a bottle of wine every night, at the weekends because it’s the weekend, we do it more and we think that is okay, we think that’s normal.
If you were injecting heroin every night of the week and doing more of it at the weekend. Would you think that was normal? Because that is also a highly addictive drug. Now I will be focussing specifically on alcohol as the Alcohol Coach, as this is my field of expertise.
So that ‘denial’ can become from being unaware and there can be a lot of noise around it and still be unaware and part of that is also around an unconscious denial. Everything we do as human beings is engineered by our natural biology to help us survive. We do things to make ourselves feel better, to make ourselves feel good, to give us what we think we need.
It’s inherent in us as inherent as it is in a bird to go out and tap the ground to get the worm up. It is inherent, and alcohol hijacks that. And if we are thinking on a subconscious level that alcohol is helping us, which is why everybody drinks because of that belief which is untrue.
Because that belief is there the human being, unconsciously believes that alcohol is helping. And so, the fact that drink is being consumed daily often, waking up with hangovers, feeling awful. The fact that, all that is going on, is not even recognised in the conscious part of the mind.
It is just left at that unconscious level because, the human being believes that it is helping in some way. It’s only when listening to conversations like this that something resonates, and you think hang on a minute. You mean it’s not normal and it as in alcohol is a highly toxic drug and it’s highly addictive.
And if we take any addictive drug often enough, we are likely to get addicted and if we are doing something that has negative affects on us like hangovers, remorse, wishing we didn’t do it but find we are doing it anyway.
Maybe we are out with friends and don’t want to drink tonight and yet, we find ourselves with a glass in our hand and didn’t want it and we are doing it, and another night is gone where we have drunk far more than we really wanted to than we anticipated and wake up feeling awful, and then we do it again.
That is an addictive scenario playing out in real time because, if it was genuinely something you didn’t want to do and there was no level of addiction or belief invested in it then you wouldn’t do it.
This is part of the denial, it’s a complete lack of awareness in the individual that there is actually a problem because, it’s built into the belief system that it’s a benefit. When we think about denial normally it’s at a point where maybe somebody has said something.
Maybe a family member has mentioned that they think you are drinking too much, or maybe you have even wondered yourself. Maybe friends have pointed out that you are drinking, and you are out drinking again, and drinking too much and there is in action.
When we talk about denial we are really talking about that inaction. Surely that person can see that there is a problem, but they can’t see its problem, because they believe it’s a benefit and that’s the kind of conundrum.
It’s evident to people outside that there is a problem, but the individual is still caught in this cycle of believing it’s a benefit. I will be discussing this in more detail at a later date with some analogies and metaphors which will help you to understand that ‘caught in the loop element’ that applies to the drinker.
All that needs to happen to change this is a realisation initially that ‘hey I’m caught in a loop here.’ And when that realisation happens, that opens up the possibility for you to get into that loop and stop it, to cut it to break it. The first thing that has to happen is an awareness you are in a loop otherwise you’re unhappily going round and round and round thinking ‘this is my life, this is me, this is normal, this is the way everybody is!’
There are hundreds of thousands, millions of people who are in that loop, who are unaware, and this is all about the realisation that there is a loop, that you are in it and the first thing to do is to realise that.
If you want to escape the alcohol trap, find out more by booking your free seat on my Free Masterclass. #alcoholaddiction #nomorealcohol #Thealcoholcoach #alcohol #motivated #highachiever
Hi, I'm Michela
I’m a leader in the science of transformational freedom for women, and someone previously addicted to alcohol. I have walked the path. I understand your concerns and fears. Here you will find some of my thoughts and insights. Happy browsing!
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