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Am I An Alcoholic?
As founder of The Alcohol Coach, this is the question I am asked most often. It is also a question full of dread, and connotations of down and-outs on park benches drinking out of paper bags. It’s a question loaded with social stigma, and so of course it makes us feel incredibly uncomfortable and fearful.
The question is very easy to answer.
A Is for Alcohol but Also Action and Agency
I bet you thought I was going to say A is for ‘alcohol’, or maybe ‘addiction’. Am I right?
I think I have a better A for you.
‘A is for Agency’
This such a powerful word, I love it! And do you know why?
Because no one ever made a conscious change without it.
It’s like a magic key.
I didn’t have it for years when it came to alcohol. I mean years…
I carried a secret drink problem around with me for decades.
How Can I Quit Drinking On My Own?
How to quit alcohol on your own – can it be done?
The answer is, YES. It can be done.
There are some key things you’ll need to think about and have in place and pitfalls to avoid as well.
Alcohol Coach
As the founder of The Alcohol Coach, its my job to coach clients, train them, educate and encourage them away from a life where alcohol causes problems, and where they are stuck in a growing cycle of addiction.
An alcohol coach isn’t the same as a counselor. I take people from where they are now and move them forwards to a place they want to be. We start from day 1 and move forwards. It’s often said that a coach takes people from the dark into the light, and that’s a great way to think about alcohol coaching and my job as an alcohol coach.
I am also an alcohol teacher who provides learning and information to help people make sense of the alcohol conundrum, and that is so important because there is a dearth of misinformation out there about alcohol and addiction.
How To Manage Alcohol Cravings
So here it is… you have set yourself goals for being sober and not drinking alcohol, and now you find yourself craving the very thing that you promised yourself you wouldn’t have. What can you do about it?
The first thing to remember is that alcohol addiction is 90-95% psychological, and the physical part of addiction is actually very small. It makes sense then that if you can manage the thinking part of the craving, then you are 90% of the way there!
Here are some tips for you:
Alcohol and Immunity
Alcohol adversely affects our mental health every time we wake up with those feelings of guilt and regret, and right now, we need all the mental strength that we can get.
Coronavirus Is Making Me Want to Drink
Corona virus (Covid-19) is causing unprecedented stress, uncertainty and unexpected changes to our lives. As stress levels rise there is a risk that people who are newly sober, and even those who have been alcohol-free for months or years may find themselves wanting or having a drink. This video explains why this is, and what to do about it.
Does Alcohol Help Me to Sleep? [Hint- No!]
I used to think drinking alcohol in the evening had a positive influence on my energy levels, because by the time I had done a day’s work, cooked a meal and looked after my children I was exhausted, and a drink or two, or three made me feel better.
The bottle or two of wine in the evening seemed to wake me up and gave me a new burst of energy. The belief that alcohol made me feel less tired was particularly evident at the weekend if I was going out and felt too tired to go. A large glass of wine before going used to make me feel alert and less tired. But once again the con artist was at work in ways that I really could not have imagined and only understood through my later research and learning.
The Coach’s Story
When I look back, the signs were there years before I put an end to the quiet denial that I hadn’t even heard.
The ignorant denial whispered when a boyfriend gave me an article about ‘chardonnay women’, and saying ‘have you seen this? Other people are drinking too much as well.’
I don’t even remember thinking that I was a failure around controlling my drinking for a long time. I think that I’d just come to accept that a) it was something I did, and b) it was part of who I was…drinking alcohol doing, it regularly, doing more of it that I set out to (often), having hangovers, having blackout memories, ‘having a go’ at my partner, and being loud. I thought it was normal because every time I asked my friends if it was OK to drink every night, most of them did too.
Sometimes I’d pull myself up taller and be determined, and do part of a dry month, but mostly I thought, ‘why the hell would I want to do that?’ It was like telling me to walk everywhere when I had a car. It just seemed illogical.
Sober Dinner Dating – Dates Without Alcohol!
Socialising sober is something that concerns virtually everyone when they think about taking a break from drinking alcohol, or stopping completely.
Around a third of people who come on my programs do so because they are causing serious damage to their most significant relationships as a result of their drinking. When these are partners, spouses, children, grand-children and close friends, it’s heart breaking for everyone. We’re not talking rock bottom here, we’re talking about regular drinking, and occasional drunken episodes. That is enough to disrupt trust and cause relationships to disintegrate. In this article, I explore 6 unexpected bonuses of spending romantic nights sober, and top tips for spending the evening sober.